I Want My Life Back!

While driving the lengthy trip home from my doctor’s office yesterday after my regular follow-up visit, I was trying to sort my emotions related to our discussion. My doc is “real people” … a man who understands that I need him to help enable me to do as much as I can without hurting myself. We really talk, and he really listens. He takes good care of me ... when I follow orders.

One never dreams, when climbing into a vehicle as a passenger, that it could be a life-altering experience. Our mind is on where we want to go, and how to get there. I never thought about how a slight movement of the steering wheel could cause a vehicle to hit the edge of the pavement wrong and tumble over a mountainside. But, it happened. I sustained nerve damage to my neck and arms, and I lost the use of my right arm and hand. Surgery restored most of the function to my right hand … most of the time … but I will always have severe nerve pain.

My doctor just told me that I will be having tests next week to confirm or rule out yet another medical issue. The trauma from that accident ten years ago set off a chain of progressive medical conditions that I still struggle to manage, and I don’t think I am ready to cope with another. I seriously never want to hear another diagnosis. On the way home I was thinking, “I just want my life back.”

The day exhausted me, so I lay down to try and rest. I just couldn’t get my mind off the doctor visit, and couldn’t rest. It was then that I realized I was feeling more than a little bit sorry for myself!

My mind went to our military personnel who are physically injured or psychologically traumatized while serving our Country – for ME – and I was embarrassed by my earlier thoughts. I can only imagine how much each of those service members wants his or her life back. Some will recover completely, and hopefully get that life back. Most will never be quite the same, and many more will have their lives changed in ways that their present doesn’t even resemble their former lives. As a result, some will experience far worse than I have or will.

The memory is still fresh of how I was so scared when I ‘came to’ and couldn’t feel my hand. How relieved I felt when the paramedics arrived on the scene. How frightening it was to be strapped to a board with a brace around my neck to immobilize it. This experience is one of the reasons that I became involved in Operation: Quiet Comfort. It is important to me that I help support and comfort our injured at their first stop for medical care.

While I can’t guarantee that I won’t indulge in another bout of self-pity, I am certain that my thoughts will always return to my concern for those who are putting it all on the line for me. And I will try to endure whatever comes with more grace than I did yesterday.

Please join us in demonstrating that a grateful Nation TRULY thanks our wounded warriors and the amazing medical professionals who care for them. www.operationquietcomfort.com

Frustrated and Confused

I feel a viral, sickening sense of complacency toward the needs of our American troops…particularly our wounded warriors who have given so much--for us. I don’t know whether it is only within my group of acquaintences...or if it is infecting all Americans at home. Are we too far from the fighting to truly care? Has it become “old hat” to read news of the wounded or killed in action…suicide bombers…the latest Taliban actions…Pakistan refugees…Al Qaeda news… Have we become numb to this news?

I see all these yellow ribbon magnets on the backs of vehicles...do those folks truly understand what the ribbon represents? Do they believe that slapping that magnet on the car is really supporting the troops?

I know that some folks are worn and weary from trying to do so very much…working so hard…giving time…losing sleep…and making personal sacrifices to provide meaningful support for our heroes fighting on behalf of me...you...our Country.

Still...there are far more of those who can’t give up a manicure, a night at the movies or bowling or Facebook time to make some genuine effort on behalf of our wounded troops on the front lines of these conflicts.

Have you read the news about how difficult the jobs our military medical staff have…how hard it is for them to take the broken bodies of our troops and put them back together? And how those troops then rejoin their units to fight another day? How many can’t be helped enough on the front lines and are evacuated to other facilities where they can hopefully be restored? Can you just imagine their jobs? Can you imagine the indignity of having no underwear while being treated because all of your clothing was cut off to assess your wounds?

Have you read the news of the struggles these soldiers face when they arrive back in America and try to rebuild their lives with artificial limbs, in wheelchairs, with scars that make them barely recognizable to even their families? Or those who arrive home physically ‘whole’, but so traumatized by living in a battle zone that the sound of a car door slamming next door makes them hit the floor? How difficult it is to readjust to lives at home that have gone on without them?

Or is it too hard to read, so you just skip those stories?

Morale can win or lose a war. Morale is significant to the number of injuries sustained, and troops killed. We are doing our very best to support these troops so that they know the love and comfort of a very grateful nation. We want their morale to be as high as the morale in the World Wars. We want so badly to do it RIGHT this time for our troops…disregarding any political, ideological or religious views of the war or other conflicts that the United States may be involved in. These folks committed to doing their all for our nation. They are doing us proud, and they deserve the same in return.

I am asking myself whether America is willing to make some real, tangible effort on behalf of our troops.